i seemed to have come back to a different house
everything was the same
i came back late like how i used to everyday
and everything was dark cause everyone else slept
there was no additional or less furnitures
they all stayed at where they used to be
but somehow something feels different
i seemed to have come back to an emptier house
then sis told me
nainai moved out
together with tri and daniel
'why'
was my first thought
but i knew
i have always known
all of us have always known
who else could it be right
i feel a deep regret
for not cherishing them more
they've actually taken a bigger place in me
than i have ever imagined
the times that they were here
made me feel like this was an actual home
i just know them leaving will have a great impact on me
and i dont want to live like how things was before
im seriously gonna miss them
i feel helpless
i feel faint
the worst thing is
i left home for batam at night
without even informing her
or saying goodbye
now that im back, she's gone
the emptiness is starting to eat me inside
The house seems smaller since she's been gone.
The lights stay dim and the shutters drawn.
But the clock keeps running and time runs on,
and there's time enough has flown
if I have to live alone.
The leaves still rustle, the wind still whines;
the sun shines colder but still it shines.
I do my living between the lines
like the silent times I've known
when I had to live alone.
Before I knew her I had my ways
to fill the hours, to kill the days.
Have a meal at the cafe
ev'ry night at ten;
take a walk, take a nap, perhaps a card game now and then.
I've lived alone before and I can do it again.
I still hear laughter, I still see stars, and if it's true that a smile comes hard,
well, that's the reason that God made scars, to protect us once they've grown.
Let them harden now like stone,
let them harden now like stone
if I have to live alone
*from the musical: the baker's wife; if i have to live alone
